Becoming Sidelined: Examining Body Dissatisfaction Post-Retirement

BY JORDYN TOIA, M.ED. SPORTS PSYCHOLOGY

Retirement from elite sport can impact every facet of our lives. This transition can feel like utter chaos. To some degree, almost every aspect of our life may look different; from our social circles, to our routines, to the way we see ourselves as people. On the most tangible level, our bodies themselves will likely change after retiring from elite sport. It is incredibly difficult for our self-esteem to be left unscathed after such a significant life transition. The things we once took pride in may not be feasible to us anymore. We may grapple to understand ourselves which leaves room for doubt to creep in and insecurity to take form. 

We live in a society with evasive rules and unrealistic expectations surrounding how a body should look. In addition, our body is something that appears to be in our control, that is tangible and measurable in a way that emotions aren’t. This makes it the perfect scapegoat for the overwhelming anxiety and uncomfortable feelings we may be experiencing. We become susceptible to resisting, shaming, or fixating on the natural changes our bodies experience.

Contributors to body dissatisfaction post-retirement

Experiencing body dissatisfaction after retirement from elite sport is incredibly common for a number of reasons. As discussed in previous articles, a loss of identity, to at least some extent, is commonly experienced . A loss of identity can inhibit our self-esteem. We may no longer understand ourselves the way we did, which makes us question what we have to offer and what our role in this world now looks like. This loss of self can be overwhelming and life without our sport can be a shock to our reality that is too scary or painful to fully accept. To some extent, the changes in our bodies post-sport can be understood as a physical manifestation of becoming sidelined. It adds a somatic layer to an already invasive and wide-reaching change.

Humans are prone to resist change if we don’t have effective coping mechanisms to manage the uncomfortable emotions that accompany navigating new and scary situations. We may resist change to the point that we cling to the past or we hyperfocus on symptoms of the change that appear to be in our control. This provides us with temporary relief; an illusioned safe-haven from the chaos we might be experiencing. However, this is a maladaptive coping mechanism that only provides us with momentary relief. The longer we spend avoiding the reality of our situation, the more we begin to believe we are incapable of facing the new unknowns (i.e. who am I and what does life look like after retirement?)

Again, this relief is momentary because it is grounded in illusion. Therefore, it’s incredibly easy for the mind to gravitate toward tangible things in order to make the illusion of control feel more reality-based. Enter: body dissatisfaction. 

It can become easy to fixate on body changes because they seem inescapable. You can’t avoid your body. Additionally, we may fixate on these changes because it creates an element of control. The way other facets of our lives are impacted may be too real to deny, but they may be more avoidable if we can distract ourselves by an element that seems more in our control: our own bodies. 

It may lack logic, but shaming and criticizing our bodies may make us feel empowered by the illusion of control, and this may temporarily be satisfying enough to tolerate all of the negative emotions that accompany it. Without taking the time to truly reflect, we may instinctively cling to comfort, regardless of how miserable it may be, instead of accepting the inherent vulnerability that comes with authentic self-exploration and navigating life during transitions. 

Behaviors/emotions/thought patterns related to body dissatisfaction 

The way we handle negative emotions and perceptions surrounding our bodies can manifest in a number of forms. A common and unsurprising one is food restriction and dieting. If we are emotionally attached to a number on a scale we may be susceptible to diet fads and restrictive eating. Understanding how to nourish our bodies without the same level of intensive, regular exercise is certainly a journey. However, approaching this journey from a stance of curiosity as opposed to restriction and rigidity allows us the opportunity to avoid unnecessary feelings of shame and falling into the counterproductive cycle of chronic dieting. 

Another common symptom of body dissatisfaction is the suppression of emotions. We deny, avoid, and minimize emotions that are normal and essential to the human experience. We become resistant to anger, shame, and other ‘unacceptable’ or uncomfortable emotions. We may begin to hide ourselves, both physically and socially. Making ourselves “smaller” by not speaking up the way we want to, holding our bodies “in” despite physical discomfort, or avoiding eye contact. The shame we feel around our bodies and the fear associated with navigating such new terrain can impact our self-esteem to the point that we no longer feel worthy of taking up space, of being heard, or of receiving compassion. 

Similarly, the experience of shame can make us feel unworthy of positive experiences and emotions. Without a true conscious acknowledgement, we may find ourselves limiting pleasure. This could range from not feeling deserving of certain foods since our exercise regimen is not as intensive, or avoiding activities that engage the body. 

We may hold ourselves hostage from certain experiences until we determine our bodies are acceptable enough. In addition to this being cruel and unfair, it is counterproductive because we have attached our feelings of shame, fear, and insecurity to our bodies so the end goal is arbitrary and indistinguishable. There is no body shape or number on the scale powerful enough to provide us with what we truly need: the space and compassion for self-exploration and healing. 

When we experience a loss of self, it impacts the way we see our world if we no longer understand our function in it. This discord makes us desperate for stability. We instinctively and frantically search for solid ground instead, which in reality is an endless fight against the current. While restrictive behaviors prohibit the experience of positive emotions, they provide us with the illusion of control. Rules, regimens, and punishments create a sense of stability. 

Feelings like shame, disgust, and frustration with our bodies can be an experience that is much more layered than it may appear. It may be more than a body image, it may be a trauma issue. Retirement can be an incredibly devastating experience, and it is common to redirect the painful and disconcerting emotions onto our body itself as a means of coping with the trauma of the experience. However unpleasant, criticism of our bodies can actually be a function of a maladaptive coping mechanism. We are distracting ourselves with the fixation on physical ‘flaws’ in order to mitigate our emotional turmoil. Consider the possibility that the feelings you have about your body may actually be related to something else you sense as less safe and out of your control, like sorting through the emotional impact of being sidelined. 

Unhelpful thinking styles

Self-criticism and negative self-talk are not always a conscious decision, but as discussed in previous articles (here and here), there are tools and methods to identifying and correcting unhelpful thinking patterns that often leave us feeling stuck, damaged, or inadequate if left unaddressed. 

The Inner-Critic: Our inner critic can be a loud and mean voice inside of our heads. It is harsh without justification. The more persistent and dominant our inner-critic is, the easier it is to believe. It is imperative to not conflate its overbearing nature with legitimacy. It may be the loudest voice, but that doesn’t make it honest. This may sound like “I’m so fat...“, “I’m going to gain so much weight” or “No one will like me because my of my body.”

Personalization: Personalization is the perception that every event or person’s behavior is a direct result or consequence of ourselves. This thinking pattern makes it impossible to consider any of the infinite other perspectives. It is shame inducing despite its statistical likelihood. This may sound like “My body is the reason x happened” or “I wouldn’t be sidelined if I were (fill in the blank) .”

Overgeneralization: Similarly to personalization, this thinking pattern discounts other perspectives while glossing over complexities to make sweeping and inaccurate generalizations. After being sidelined, this may sound like “I am weak”,  “I can no longer count on my body”, or “No other young athletes have bodies that have failed them.”

Catastrophizing: This is when our brain determines the absolute worst case scenario and clings to it. It can often be dramatized, fear-inducing, and improbable. 

Rosy Retrospection: This memory bias can be described simply as remembering the past better than it was. For a sidelined athlete, this may be conceptualizing life pre-retirement as perfect which exacerbates the perception of life post-retirement as dreadful. This may sound like “my body used to be perfect and now it is defective” or “everything was easier when I was an athlete.” 

Health and body acceptance

Learning to love our bodies is not always an easy feat, and as with every facet of this life transition, it’s absolutely imperative that we are patient with ourselves. Learning to accept our bodies may be a more manageable task presently. Instead of reducing our complex emotional processes to merely body dissatisfaction, we can learn to accept our bodies for everything they were, are, and can be. 

Weight change is a normal and unavoidable part of the human experience. Our bodies are in constant flux, they are ever-changing and despite the discomfort we may experience, it is this adaptability that makes our bodies so extraordinary. 

The pursuit of health is a journey and our bodies are part of the process. While your endurance or muscle mass may look different after retirement, these are not fixed indicators of health. Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity (World Health Organization). Therefore, measuring health on the same scale you used while competing at an elite level is inherently unhealthy. 

Additionally, attempts at health that come from a place of self-loathing, disgust, or rejection are counterintuitive. The physical standards you held yourself to as an elite athlete will be adapted in post-retirement, not lowered. Embracing, accepting, and appreciating your body does not mean you will stop taking care of it. It will simply provide you with the clarity to better assess what it needs today.

Truthfully, we will never have it all figured out when it comes to our bodies because the human form is so fluid, dynamic, and naturally changing. The true goal cannot be measured on a scale or by our exercise routines. 

The only abiding goal that serves the true vision of health is cultivating an attuned relationship with our bodies. Being in tune with your body involves the fundamental understanding and acceptance that your body will change, grow, and evolve because: that’s what bodies do. Making peace with this basic knowing is about finding purpose and meaning for being in life that goes deeper than the physical body and deeper than our careers as athletes.

It is perfectly normal to experience changes in your physique after retirement for elite sport. Sustaining the same build isn’t realistic for most considering the unavoidable changes in training and decreased hours at the gym. By restructuring your expectations and setting your physical goals in a realistic and comprehensive fashion, you can begin to move forward in your journey of health, identity exploration, and enduring self-confidence. 

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. Neither Sidelined USA nor its affiliates provide clinical or medical care of any kind via their relationship with Sidelined. At no time should a user have an expectation of clinical care or professional services offered or rendered.

Jordyn Toia

Content contributor, Sidelined USA

“I jumped at the opportunity to help an organization that works to provide care and resources to such an underserved population of former athletes. In society, we tend to value athletes for not much more than their athletic prowess and physical productivity. Athletes are whole human beings and should be treated as such. I think a great way to begin to make this shift is to create dialogue, provide resources, and validate those who have been forced to reinvent their lives and identities without competing as athletes in their sports.”