The decision to stay involved with the team following medical disqualification/retirement can no doubt be a complicated one. On one hand, your teammates are your people and not having that same team connection would no doubt have an impact on your relationships, but on the other hand being present with a front row seat to watching others continue to compete when you no longer can do so personally, well that can feel flat out painful, if not torturous.
Read MoreInsightful articles for helping permanently-sidelined athletes find a meaningful way forward.
As a former sidelined athlete I can tell you that guilt and shame were very specific feelings I experienced when I medically-retired. At the time, I really didn’t feel like I had the right to grieve and I was ashamed of how depressed I had become. I didn’t realize that it was normal - more importantly - that it was OKAY to be mourning the end of my athletic career. Changing the narrative starts with understanding where the guilt and shame behind medical retirement comes from.
An athlete’s natural mindset in performing is to overcome and defeat opponents. To win. But what happens when you can’t even compete?
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The reality of COVID-19 related impact on sports is brutal. “This is going to last far longer than we care to imagine,” they say. We’ve got to get used to a “new norm”, we are advised. Maybe a new norm seems impossible to accept right now, and fear and uncertainty are weighing heavy. Maybe it feels like you’ve been blocked off from one of the most significant parts of yourself. Maybe you are wondering if it’s okay to feel so devastated when many others are suffering far greater losses like losing their jobs and not knowing how to pay their rent or feed their kids. While these are new experiences to the vast majority of all the “sidelined” athletes in the world right now, this is a familiar space for us at Sidelined USA.
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“You’re only as good as your last game . . . match . . . race.” Sound familiar?
As a competitor, it is common to tie your athletic identity to your performance in your sport. What can happen though it you aren’t careful is that your performance can become the key indicator of how you measure your worth and subsequently, can greatly impact how happy you are overall in life.
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It is normal and healthy to experience a period of sadness following a career-ending injury. Take some time to come to terms with what has happened. It will help you to move forward when you’re ready.
Talk about it. It can be beneficial to express your feelings to someone that you trust.
Identify those people who can provide support and encouragement in coping with your injury.
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As a child, you never expect your biggest dreams to come to an end so suddenly. As an athlete, you hope that you’re able to control your own destiny. Unfortunately, the reality is that for many of us, these hopes and expectations take a U-turn when we’re least expecting it, and force our hand in life a bit earlier than we had planned for.
Grasping the reality of an early end to your athletic career is certainly a tough pill to swallow.
For some it may be all they have ever known and loved.
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Sports do indeed offer valuable life experiences. We learn incredible skills such as persistence, work ethic, and how to set and work towards goals. We push our limits and learn about our own physical and mental strength. We learn how to sacrifice and discipline ourselves as we work through challenges. Ultimately, we experience a deep sense of passion and purpose as we try to attain our highest potential in sport.
Unfortunately, we also realize that in order to succeed in such a competitive world, we need to protect ourselves. So, we start to grow thick skin and a type of protective outer armor.
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The room is so very bland. That icky not-quite-beige, not-quite-white color. My heart is racing. Tiny beads of sweat are starting to form on my forehead. I can’t sit still, my legs bouncing in nervous anticipation. The doctor walks in, his face as bland as the walls. I try to make a read on what’s coming next, but can’t. File folder in hand, he sits down.
“Well, it is not good news. Your MRI shows a full thickness tear in your meniscus. I think we can fix it, but it would be my recommendation that you never skate again.”
Wait, what?! What did he just say?
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When we witness the likes of LeBron James compete at highest level of play, when we watch in awe at the power behind one of Serena Williams’ serves, or when we behold the command of Clayton Kershaw’s fastball: what factors do we immediately contribute their success to?
As fans (or haters) we can speculate advantages or debate statistics, but few would dare to argue that these dominating athletes have not worked tirelessly to achieve success. What is less often considered, is the work these athletes have done within the confines of their own mind. As anyone who has competed in any arena can attest to; change, improvement, and success take hard work. If we were able to work as hard on our minds as we do in our work, sports, and relationships, we would see big change in many facets of life.
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Permanently sidelined athletes can expect to go through a grieving process as they adjust to their new reality of life beyond their sport. Research shows that most sidelined athletes experience the same stages of grief. Understanding what an athlete can expect to experience when coping with the loss of his/her sport can be a powerful piece of knowledge, both for the athlete and his/her family.
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